


When Urban Dictionary Betrayed Laf: A Short Story

by Mostly_Angst_Whoops



Series: My tumblr stuff [11]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Apartment/Office Au, Humor, I laughed so much while writing this, I'm laughing again, Jefferson kisses ass, Laf needs some help with english idioms, not angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 13:38:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11829846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mostly_Angst_Whoops/pseuds/Mostly_Angst_Whoops
Summary: English idioms are fucking weird yo





	When Urban Dictionary Betrayed Laf: A Short Story

**Author's Note:**

> I want to be buried with this

Laf watched as a man blew into the elevator, pressing the button to close the doors. There was a hiss before the doors began to slide shut.  


The man seemed to have a head full of shake flying in every direction, and he was carrying a pile of papers that was tucked under his chin so they wouldn’t fall. 

Laf gave the man a cheery smile, holding out a hand. “Bonjour! J’ma-”

They barely got a word in before the man started speaking in rapid English, doing his best to gesture with his hands while holding the stack of papers. Lafayette could hear a bunch of random groans every few words, and then the man gestured to Laf with his shoulder before running out again. 

[[MORE]]

Lafayette blinked, trying to figure out what happened. He sighed, walking to his room. Good job making friends. 

The next month, the same man blew in again. This time, he was carrying a binder and a pen, furiously noting something down. Lafayette smiled at him again, deciding to try out some English. 

“Hello-”

The man started speaking the in the same rapid English, and it was too fast for Lafayette to understand. He still tried, and a few words drifted over. 

“Jefferson…imbecile..is not…fuck.”

It wasn’t much, especially because of the sheer amount of words the man could fit into their thirty second elevator ride, but he was out again. Lafayette rolled his eyes. They were going to figure out what the hell this guy was saying. 

The next time there were in the elevator was another month later. Lafayette had a determined glint in his eye. The man walked in and pressed a button.

“You know what I hate? Jefferson. He’s-”

Wait, Lafayette knew that person! Jefferson was able to speak French and had been helping Lafayette out. Maybe he could actually start a conversation after all. 

“Je connais Jefferson! Thomas, right?”

“Yeah. Fuck him, he’s…such a…and Washington still likes him and…”

The talking became faster and faster, and Lafayette was stuck with the first words that he understood from the beginning. The man was out again, and Lafayette sighed. Soon. 

Another month passed. Lafayette was expecting it this time. 

“Hi. Do you know how much of a fucking bitch John Adams is? I don’t even understand why his position is so respected. He’s just a kissass and I’m pretty sure the ass he’s kissing is Jefferson’s. Honestly. Fuck him,” Alexander said, slamming a button on the elevator. “He’s stubborn and obnoxious- and I know I’m one to talk, and honestly I’d admire that he stands up for what he believes in, if what he believes in wasn’t so stupid! Also if he’s so adamant in what he thinks is right, then why the fuck is he hanging out with Jefferson? I’m not jealous, I swear, but what the hell? This one’s my floor, bye!”

Alexander rushed right back out of the elevator. Lafayette rolled their eyes. They had gotten almost all of the words this time. They pulled out their phone as soon as the man was gone, looking up what the hell “kissing ass” was.

Their conclusion: Jefferson was into some shit.

A month later, Jefferson invited Lafayette to a work party as his plus one. Lafayette didn’t refuse, they needed friends. Once they arrived, Jefferson deserts him almost immediately to talk to Adams. The words “kissing ass” popped into Lafayette’s head and he wiggled his eyebrows at Jefferson and Adams. They’ve already gone. It seemed like all of Jefferson’s are friends were here, which is the reason Lafayette had gotten the invite instead of anyone else. That, and something about Angelica Schuyler that Jefferson wouldn’t disclose. 

Laf’s eyes floated around the room until he finally saw the man that bursts into the elevator every month. He stood in the corner, looking at everyone with squinty eyes. He was better than nobody. Laf walked over. 

“Bonjour!” 

“Oh, you work here? You’re probably the only good person to work here. Everyone else here sucks. Ugh. I mean, come on. I can’t believe Washington makes me come to these things,” the man said, sighing. He hiccuped, and Laf smelled a tinge of alcohol on his breath. The man sighed, leaning closer to Lafayette. He looked up at them. “You’re pretty cute, honestly. But you also look a little bit like Jefferson, which is probably a downside. None of which you understand. I’m pretty sure you don’t speak English but for some reason I’ve started telling you about my crappy days while we ride the elevator together and I don’t feel so alone anymore.”

“I speak English,” Lafayette said. “Not fluent yet, but I can speak. I do not work here.”

“Oh. That’s embarrassing,” the man replied, rubbing his temples. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize! I have been learning English because I want to understand. It is helpful,” Laf said. 

“Oh, okay then,” the man said, smiling up at Lafayette. “I’m Alexander Hamilton.”

“Marie Joseph Paul Yves Rich Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette. Friends say Gil,” Lafayette said. 

“I’m too drunk to remember any of that, tell me again later,” Alexander said, chuckling. 

“You said I was cute,” Lafayette said.

“Yup,” Alexander replied, face going red.

“Are you going to kiss my ass?”

It took Alexander about eight and a half minutes to calm down. Lafayette watched him the entire time, deciding that Americans were weird. 

“I’m going to watch my idioms from now on,” Alexander said, pulling Laf out of the room and beginning to walk back to their apartment building. “I’m giving you an English lesson.”

“Okay!” Lafayette said cheerily, following Alexander back home. Lafayette learned that no, domestic animals do not fall from the sky in America, and people don’t actually pay for things with limbs.

They spent the rest of the night together, having fun and speculating which type of asskissing Jefferson was doing.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments make my day brighter!


End file.
